I never wanted to be one of those lame moms who incessantly
talks about their children, who writes a blog devoted to them.
Well, here I am.
And all I want to talk about is her.
Eat it, old me. I'm a lame mom!
For those of you who didn’t get to meet her, I’d like to
paint you a picture of my daughter, for a mother knows her child from the day
her life begins. Some of these
things I knew inherently, but some have been revealed to me as a gift. This is
my girl, my Quinn.
She is delicate. Though her daddy’s large hands and feet may
betray her, her features are fine and soft and gentle. She is pretty. She is
such a GIRL. She would have grown tall and lithe, with much more finesse in her
athletic abilities than her mother. Her eyes are round and wide, but her lips
dance with a smile and a dimple that flickers on her right cheek. Her curly
brown locks can not be tamed, much to her mother’s chagrin.
She is stubborn. She gets that from both her parents. Quinn, please uncurl from that little
ball and let the ultrasound tech check you out. Nope. Quinn, please move for
your aunties so they can feel you kick. Nope. What Quinn didn’t want to do,
Quinn wouldn’t do. She would stamp her foot, pout her little lips, and dig her
heels in so deep, there would be no convincing her otherwise. Mommy would recognize herself in her
little girl, and foster that stubbornness into a strong, independent woman with
something to say.
She is my morning girl. From the moment I woke up, there she
was, happily kicking away. Good morning Mommy! What a beautiful day! So unlike
me. So like her father. That would have been their time. Morning time. Daddy
would have spoiled her with hot chocolate…every day…he told me.
She grows still when the faint strains of a beautiful piece
of music grace her ears. Though she would have driven her piano teachers crazy
with her incessant questions during lessons, she would have a deep appreciation
for the beauty of music.
She is content. Not on the move a lot, happy to just sit and
talk. She would have her moments of wriggling, of dancing and twirling. But
then, she would plop herself down and just talk. Like one of the ladies. A
chat-ter.
She likes to sleep. Like me, like Daniel. A house full of
sleepers. So boring. So nice!
She is pensive. But, by no means serious! She lives up to her
name. She thinks. Deeply. There is always a pause before she speaks. She looks
at you with her big round eyes, blinks her long eyelashes like her daddy and
says. Hmmmm. Hmmmm, Mommy. I’m thinking. And we wait for an answer. And it is
simple and profound. My wise little one.
She has a soft heart. She sees the hurting and tries to
cheer them with her joy. Just laugh! She says. It’s ok! Just laugh! That laugh
would get her into trouble. Stop giggling Quinn, it’s time to pay attention
now.
Most of all….
She is joy. Her laugh echoes in the recesses of my mind at
all times. It is bubbly and overflows from deep within. It…she… is pure bliss.
Don't be sad, Mommy. She says to me again. Don't be sad, I'm not sad!
And so I say, I will take joy from yours, my little one. I will grab on to that small flicker and hold on for dear life. Because without it, life is so very, very bleak.
I pray that Quinn - her life, her being - brings you flickers of joy as well.
Thanks for sharing such precious insights in your delightful daughter, Deanne! What a gift to get a glimpse into her - how beautifully and wonderfully made she is.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post! It made me feel as if I knew her and it also made me truly think about my daughter probably up in heaven laughing and playing with yours. How I hope that they are great friends! She seems like exactly the type of friend I would have hoped for my Cora. This has inspired me to think and maybe share who my sweet daughter is as well. You have made me smile and have reminded me the grave has not won and she is exactly who she is just up in heaven instead of here. For this I thank you.
ReplyDeleteCarrie, you should. I would love to meet her :)
Delete